From the archives: The Importance of Finding A Bigger Why


So I'm going to recap everything that we spoke about in the first video and then I'm going to share, share a few more things that I wanted to share about that. So this is something that came up for me when I was talking with my kinesiologist and we've just been working together for about three months now and she's been absolutely incredible and she's really been helping me shift through a lot of limiting beliefs. So if you don't have a kinesiologist, I would highly recommend that you get one. If you want a contact, let me know. I can recommend my lady, she is based in Australia but she works with clients world.

So we work remotely. We do skype sessions and she's pretty affordable. She's charges about 100 USD, I think, uh, an hour. So she's pretty good. So let me know. I'm actually, no sorry. She started 100 USD per session and the sessions are typically 90 minutes, so it's pretty good, so let me know if you want a contact, but I'm happy to hook you up with her. So one of the things that came up for me with my kinesiologist, especially in my most latest session, was that I have finally figured out how to disconnect my self esteem from what's happening in my business and this. When I articulated this to her in the most recent call that we had, I realized, Holy Shit, this is such a huge thing. This is such a massive shift because for a lot of us as entrepreneurs, we tend to attach our self esteem or how we feel about ourselves to how our business was doing.

So how much money we're making homemade clients we have. Whether we got a yes or no, how our latest launch event and all of that. But the problem is that when we are attaching our self esteem to these external events in our business, what ends up happening is that we actually add more resistance to that thing that we're trying to achieve. We are adding resistance because we have this desperate energy because if he don't do it, it means something about us, but what I realized, what I've realized in the last few months, and this was like a hard one, long for realization that has come to me, which is my business, has absolutely nothing to do with my self esteem like anything in my external world has nothing to do with how what I think about myself or my value as a human being or my worth as a human being because it doesn't do your value as a human being in your words as human being is defined by the fact that you're here.

You're here. You're the ability to care. You have gifts and talents to share with the world. You have the ability to care. You have so much going for you. You want to serve. You want to make the world a better place and you have the skills and talents and abilities to make it happen. That is what defines your worth as a human being. The fact that you're here and in fact you the ability to make shit happen for yourself and for your clients, that is what defines your value as a human being. It's not actually even trying. It's the fact fact that you here. It's the state of being that makes you a worthwhile human being. Right? And when you step into that and we truly understand that you deserve to have an amazing business and you deserve to have all the clients and you deserve to have all the good things happening for you in the most ideal way possible. But if something doesn't happen in the short term, that does not mean that you are worth any less as a person. So for example,

if I have a few thousand dollars a month in my business right now, great, of course I'm going to be happy. Of course I'm going to be excited. Of course I'm going to celebrate. Of course we want to maybe send money to my parents or my presence for my friends or whatever. Like of course I'm going to do with the fun things, but it does not. But if I don't have $50,000 a month or I do want to hit my goal, I don't hit my target, I'm not going to cry about it. Like it's not to beat myself down. I'm not going to be like, oh my God, here you go again, like you did this, you know, because my value as a human being, of course I deserved how everything I want and I'm doing my best and I will get there because I will. That's just who I am. And that's my belief system is that I will achieve my goals because I do. But if I don't for whatever reason,

that's fine, that's fine too. And when you get into that place of like, yes, I want this thing in my life, yes, I want to achieve my goals. Yes, I want more clients. Yes, of course I want my clients to say yes, but if they say no, it doesn't mean anything about me. It doesn't mean that I'm a bad person. Doesn't mean that I'm a lazy person, doesn't mean I'm an unworthy. It doesn't mean I'm a fraud. It doesn't mean I don't deserve it. It doesn't mean any of those things, it just means this one incident didn't happen. Somebody said, no big fucking whoop, or you wouldn't make a goal of one month, big fucking whoop, and that's not to say that we're consciously letting ourselves off the hook. It's quite the opposite. We are allowing ourselves to remember who we truly are. We are limitless spiritual beings having a human experience.

That's just who we are and when these step into that and know that our work is connected to the spirits of our work is connected to being here and being alive and being a vehicle and a channel for you to share your gifts with the world and then you go do that without it being meaning anything about you. It's magical. It's magical because then you release the resistance. You can go after what you want without a sense of desperation, but when you do it with the respiration, when you do it with this desperate need to be validated is I'll only be validated. This client says, yes, I will only be validated if I make $50,000 a month. I will only be validated if Xyz happens in my external world, as long as you are validation or self esteem or survival or anything is connected to something outside of yourself. You want to succeed, you will struggle a lot more than you need to struggle. Um, so that is the lesson here. The biggest lesson here is to be able to understand and step into knowing that you are deserving and that your self esteem and your self worth and your value as a human being

is not connected to your house or your money situation, your bank account, your clients or anything, anything really in the external world. That's the big realization. But then again we can connect to a bigger why than that. Great. So if you are thinking about like, and this is something that came up in the colonization with Nicole as well, which is that less brand video, which is when you add the other video where she's talking about the why, like connecting with your why. Like when you connect with your wife, that's when you can make magic happen. What is your wife? Is your wife evaluated yourself or does your why to give gifts to your gifts to the world is your why is to feel like you're worthwhile human being or is it has to do with solving major problems that need to be solved and being a better brighter and creating a better blade of building a business and doing all of those things and being that leader and being that person who has listened and conversations for people who don't have the courage to stand them. What is your why? And when you create that bigger why, which is much bigger than your self esteem or your ego stroking, um, then the game changes, right? And the game changes. And that's kind of game I want you to be a part of. If you want to end. One of the things that also this other connection with. Another thing that I watched a few years back, actually, I think there was shipped. I was three years ago.

That could have been three years ago, maybe two years ago, two years ago. So I was in Bhutan, but two years ago, uh, if you don't know what, who cares? It's like a small landlocked country between India and China. I was in Bhutan and I was walking in the forest one day and I was listening to a Tim Ferris podcast with Brittany brand and was absolutely incredible. It was the one that came out in 2015. So if you want to Google, Tim Prefers Britney Brown, look on the podcast if you're on 2015 and she talks about the power of like vulnerability in excellence, but what really stood out for me is watching the talks about was there's a big difference in somebody who chases excellent knowing that they are 100 percent worthy and they're doing it the chasing excellence because they want to see what's possible. They want to see how far they can go.

They didn't want to see what they can create creating from a place of self worth. And excellence is a completely different game to creating from a place of desperation and for validation and seeking that's not seeking excellence. That's basically, oh yeah. So she talked about the difference between excellence and perfectionism, I think. Um, and it was beautiful because when you choose perfectionism, what we're really chasing is giving yourself self worth or giving yourself, gaining a sense of worthiness by doing something perfectly okay, and that's what you're doing when you're chasing perfectionism, but when you don't use perfectionism, when you are coming from a place of I'm good enough because I am, I am worthy because I am, and now let's see what's possible and what's the best thing I can create? What is that state of excellence that I can operate from on a daily basis?

What is my zone of genius? What are my best gifts? How can I give it to the world? When you come from that perspective of excellence rather than perfectionism, you realize that people who you can tell the difference between people who are chasing excellence in the day people were chasing perfectionism. It's very obvious because people are chasing perfectionism just off validation. Then just doing it for validation. If they don't get validation, they are going through these massive cycles of emotional ups and downs and not that there aren't being stable and grounded because they don't have the foundation of knowing that they are. They're worthy as individuals and that they are here inherently, they are worthy and that they are already validated. There's nothing to prove. There's nothing to. There's nothing to prove that to such a big thing, right? Because a lot of the times we want to prove to ourselves that we are worthy. We want to prove to ourselves that we are worthwhile. One proved to ourselves that we're good enough in whatever way, shape or form, but what have you. We're already good enough and you are just here to explore what is possible. You're just here to explore what you can do and how great you can be. You can. You're just here to truly explore your greatness. That is excellence. That's ultimately going to drive. Let me see, is there anything else I wanted to have home here with you today?

I think that's it. I think that's it. Okay, so go play with this idea of like believing that you're good enough, regardless of what happens in your business, and I think it's going to be a true game changer for you. If I can support you in any way as usual, feel free to reach out or post here or reach out to Nicole and hank. I'm sure they have amazing things to add to this organization. Have a wonderful time that you guys and I'm going to see you soon. Bye.

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